Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Fountain of Youth

This is it! I found it! The fabled Fountain of Youth!  Long sung by bards and visionaries from Herodotus to Prester John, prized by Ponce de Leon ... but never glimpsed by modern man ... Until today!
That's the good news. The bad news takes the form of two small metal placques on the stone-work of the fountain's base.
One says "Patent 23461, Novardis Corp. 2012".
The other one says:
"Possible side effects may include migraine headache, cramps, peptic ulcers, hysterical blindness, skin rash, painful urination, night sweats, renal failure, blood clots, paralysis, nausea, projectile vomit, hair loss, amd suicidal thoughts or actions."
It also said, "Continued on next placque".
But I didn't have the heart to read it.

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